Don’t ever feel bad for making a decision that upsets other people. You are not responsible for their happiness. You are responsible for your happiness.
Isaiah Henkel (via wolf-cub)

If only I could do this

(via bashaliora)

Raphdate 08.28.2014

A lot of mixed things going on…

Boys are back in school, so I don’t have to help with the babysitting as much.

Phoebe, our 6 month old Pomeranian, just got spayed yesterday, and she has been a handful. She wants to run, she wants to jump, she wants to lick her stitches. She cries when I put her in her kennel, she wants to jump off the bed when I keep her on the bed. She doesn’t get to run free for another 13 days. September 10th. I’m counting.

I haven’t been writing, I’m trying to decompress, which is a bullshit excuse for not writing. I just haven’t felt up to it. I also remind myself I’m not getting younger and I need to get going. I’ve actually decided to make each chapter a seperate word file, hopefully if I compartmentalize, I can get each file done.

Diamond called me back… I’ve been offered a job provisionally, depending on what my references say to them. I don’t want to jinx it, I hope the offer still stands. There’s still some stuff to discuss with Tammy regarding transportation and logistics, but I think my job hunt is over.

It’s been hard to write also with the prospect of being unemployed for a while hanging over me. One of the last conversations I had with my dad before he died was about how hard it was for him to find a job around here, when he lived here. Sure, it was the 70’s, but those words have haunted me. I want to make life here work. I need to learn to drive, I need to work on my health, I need to write. I need to make this work.

Raphdate 08.21.2014

Had my interview at Diamond today, went well. Here’s hoping. Really need to get moving on TLB. Also filling out this website a bit. So much to do still.

I have to keep remembering that every day is a new day, but that life is short. I have another chance every day, but I’ve only got so many days before life ends. I’m not terminally ill or anything, but I’ve definitely not done myself any favors.

My one post

Because it takes work, but it also takes consistency. Even if it’s a cop out post.

Job interview tomorrow, hope it goes well.

Raphdate 08.19.2014

Still unemployed, still distracted. Excuses. All excuses.

Keep pushing, keep striving.

I’m going to write in this thing again tomorrow.

I hope to have a podcast up by next week.

I’ve got a few interviews. I hope one of them works out.

amazngspidey said: Dude! I didn't know you left!

I left NYC a little while ago

Raphdate 2014.7.29

Well… I wanted to update weekly. A few things have happened:

- Working on my room: the house has a spare room, which is now my office/where all my stuff goes. I’ve spent a lot of time unpacking/rearranging the room. I’ve bought containers and racks, and each time I do, I rearrange the room. I’ve done that about 4 or 5 times now. It’s a constant evolution. So I keep tampering with the room

- The biggest distraction from writing is Tammy’s nephews. We do board games or something every night, and some days I’ve had to do their summer lessons with them while Tammy was sick or taking the dogs to the vet. It’s fun and rewarding at times, but I also feel like I’m putting my life on hold for them, and that’s very frustrating. It also tells me that I won’t be having kids anytime soon. I have too much to do to dedicate my life to raising a child at this exact moment.

Then again, I JUST moved, I’m trying to settle into a new life, so it’s not a fair indication of what my life will be. Either way, I want to stabilize, and also do some sort of writing, before I settle down and have a family. I’d like to have some sort of writing career to help take care of my family. I feel like the older I get, the more it’s a pipe dream, and I feel like I’ve wasted my 20’s, but every writer has self-doubt. I’m plagued by it, but it’s not going to stop me.

Speaking of writing, I’ve been working mostly on The Last Bastion. I had been writing like any amateur would: just putting the words to paper. A few weeks ago, I actually set about plotting the entire first volume, therefore giving me a road map, and not falling victim to my fickle whims.

It’s about doing the work every day, and throughout my life, I’ve found excuses not to: I’m tired from work, I just moved, the boys are distracting me… even now this post was about the excuses as to why I haven’t posted here. It shows a lack of discipline on my end. And of course my first reaction is to promise to turn all of this around, to write every day, and to post every week, and to do all of this stuff.

But let’s be realistic, I’d fall off the wagon pretty quickly.

So for now, I’m going to try and post on my site weekly, I’m going to try to do a podcast this week. I’m going to work on The Last Bastion chapter 3, hopefully finish it in the next few weeks.

One step at a time. Then we walk, we jog, we run, we fly, we transcend.

Life Update: July 1st, 2014

A lot’s happened in the last 34 days since my last post. I’m doing okay in Fantasy Baseball. I’ve moved to Maryland and I’ve left Midtown Comics and New York City behind.

Yep. Moved 217 miles, about a week ago.

I moved for a few reasons, and all of them were important to me:

- My girlfriend, whom I’m pretty serious with. Her family has pretty much assimilated me, that includes her nephews, aged 8 and 14.

- Space: I liked working at Midtown, but the hours were long and I worked nights. I had erratic days off, and didn’t really do much with my life. I just needed space where I could be myself and not be in the hustle and bustle of Times Square.

- Space to Work: I also need the time and space to write and to podcast and pursue all the projects I’d like to. I’d still like to do some photo comics with my action figures and a green screen stage. I’d like to really get The Last Bastion and Mythals off the ground. I’d like to have some scripts done by the end of the year and have character designs and an artist lined up, maybe even a Kickstarter?

- Quiet: I’m a city kid. I was born and raised in New York City, the largest city in the country…. but I’m not a big city guy. I grew up on Avenue U in Brooklyn, which is pretty far away from Manhattan. Sure, I spent time in Chinatown and I work in a major tourist area, but I’ve gotten tired of the big crowds, the people who stop in the middle of the street, and the lack of etiquette on the subways and buses. It just wore on me and wore me out. I’m going to miss it, and I miss it a little now, but I also really enjoy the quiet. It’s soothing.

I’m not unpacked yet, but I’m getting there. There have been board games to be played, things to be shopped for, and a new puppy to take care of.

The day before we left for Maryland, Tammy and I went to visit the neighborhood I grew up in. Puppy City happens to be in that neighborhood. It’s a pet store that’s been in business for over 50 years, and I used to pass by it when I went to St. Edmund’s Elementary school. Puppy City is where my dad got my other dog Lucky from. We went in, and the place was sad. A snake oil salesman tried to push dogs on myself and Tammy, but we eventually settled on a Pomeranian. I probably could have haggled the price down, but he made me uncomfortable enough to make me want to leave. We consider the puppy a rescue. Her official name is Phoebe Kate Soohoo. Her unofficial name is Phoebe Kate Fluffnugget Fluffasaurus Fluffmuffin Pheebaleebadingdong Spidey Pup Potato Pheebus Weebus Teeny Weeny Houdini Soohoo. We’ve added those nicknames in less than a week. She’s absolutely adorable, but quite a handful right now. Kennel training has been the biggest challenge.

So what’s in my immediate future is: job hunting, unpacking, returning to podcasting, and returning to my writing. I’ll try to update this site weekly, if not bi-weekly, and keep the habit of writing going. I’m not the person I was before. I’m 30, I’m older, I’m ready to cut the crap and do what I want with my life. I had a job interview yesterday, went really well. I hope to get the job, but if not, I’ll keep applying myself.

That’s all for now.

Writers that pretend to be in the throes of some kind of genius-demon, some kind of possessing spirit that refuses to let them engage with Normal Life are bullshit artists of the highest degree, looking to excuse their antisocial tendencies and bad manners away with a flourish of vocabulary and the semantic waving of hands.

Matt Fraction (via comicquotations)

I won’t lie, when I’m in a groove, I will ignore people. But I know it’s me. Me and whatever insanity is in me.

(via evilmarguerite)

Movie Review: Godzilla

Godzilla was pretty good. It was highly entertaining, but I was disappointed with how they approached Godzilla. Spoilers coming.

Godzilla has played two roles in his movie career: Malevolent Destroyer or Guardian of Earth. The trailers made it seem like he’d be the former, but he ends up being the latter. I kinda felt a little gypped, but I like Godzilla in either role, it’s just that he’s cheesier when he’s the Guardian of Earth… like why would he stop? Why wouldn’t he just destroy everything he sees? It makes no sense for him… except that they gave him a specific role in this movie: hunter. He hunts. It makes sense. It didn’t ruin the movie for me, it’s just a nitpick.

The other nitpick I had is with the focus of the movie. The movie should’ve been called Kick-Ass meets Godzilla, because they really played the human protagonist element up. Now, maybe it’s just the difference in mentalities between Japanese and American film makers, but generally the people take a step back and we watch Godzilla whoop some ass, but Kick-Ass kept throwing his face in and interrupting the action. Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch had ok chemistry as a couple, but it creeps me out more than anything. (Aaron Taylor-Johnson plays the protagonist, hence the references to his roles in comic book movies).

This movie succeeded where Robocop failed… both movies were looking to reboot franchises in America, and while Robocop isn’t terrible, it’s sterile. The charm of the original Robocop is in the dated satire and political commentary, that’s pretty much pared down to Sam L. Jackson’s character. None 

Godzilla movies have always had varying levels of cheese, and while the movie isn’t totally cheesy, they put just enough in it for me to enjoy it. Like I said, I like Godzilla as a force of nature as opposed to a defender, but it makes it easier to root for Godzilla. Is he face palming because of stuff his son does? No, that wouldn’t make sense for the world Gareth Edwards and co. created, but all the cliche moments and stretches of logic work just right for a movie of this genre.

Pacific Rim, another movie I liked, had more cheese, but this movie was taking a semi-realistic approach to Godzilla. If anything, it reminds me of Man of Steel in that respect, except that you EXPECT Godzilla to knock down buildings and kill people. Superman shouldn’t be doing that. Godzilla is a gigantic, semi-intelligent lizard. Superman is a shining paragon of virtue and light. Godzilla succeeds where the other two failed, in balancing everything. Is this movie perfect? No, but it’s highly enjoyable and satisfies on so many levels.

Ultimately, the movie delivers everything I expected. The kaiju fights were cool, the human element was satisfactory enough, and didn’t get in the way of Godzilla TOO MUCH. I know people complain about Godzilla being “fat”, but if he’s supposed to be mutated from radiation, then it makes sense. He’s like a hulked-out version of the original Gojira.

I can’t wait for the sequel to come out, and with all the hints they dropped, I hope we see Mosura/Mothra, or even King Ghidorah.

It's me, Raph. I talk about my life, about comics, baseball, whatever really. Trying to do it every day.

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